Fear and It's Place In Your Life

I sometimes sit and think about what your world will be like when you grow older. Not only the advancement of technology but also whether or not there is any advancement in the human race. What I mean by that is whether or not us humans have learned anything new and have found a way to get along better. Since the beginning of time, humans have been a species always trying to better themselves. Some better themselves and those around them through intelligence and their ability to understand their world. Others, less intelligent, use fear, intimidation and brute strength to "better" themselves - always at the expense of others.

This is where Fear comes in. Fear is an ingrained human trait that we are all born with and learn from others. Fear is very important as, subconsciously, we can respond to danger almost instantaneously because we've been pre-programmed with fear of that particular danger. Take, for example, alligators. Once you become knowledgeable of the world around you, you know that alligators are dangerous and can kill you. If you put your arm in an alligators mouth, you will, most likely, be seriously harmed. That is "good" fear. It's good because it keeps us from being harmed.

Another example of Fear is the fear some people have of flying. Yes, there is no doubt that, should the plane drop out of the air, you will most likely die - however - we know that, statistically speaking, it is one of the safest ways to travel so millions fly every year with no fear whatsoever. In this case, knowledge of the safety of airline travel trumps fear.

Yet another example is skydiving. By the way, this is one of my fears, yet one that your mother overcame because she's a badass!! This is a fear that is overcome through proper training and equipment that can significantly minimize your exposure to harm. Without training and proper equipment, if you jumped out of a plane, you would die.

So now we know that fear is a good thing as it helps keep us from harm. We also know that fear can be overcome through knowledge, proper training and proper equipment. So why is it, you may ask, that so many people are paralyzed by fear? One of the reasons is that fear is highly contagious. If someone says that they are frightened of blue people, you may be frightened also - even though you've never met a blue person. The reason is that we want to trust what others are saying and, after all, blue people are different! Most people truly want to believe because, why would someone tell a lie? Well, my dear Bailey, sometimes, those people have no idea they are even telling a lie.

Fear mentality. For a lot of people, it runs their lives. Everything they do is because of that fear. It is up to you to use your mind to make a decision whether or not a particular fear is one that you need to be concerned with. Bullys will try to intimidate you with fear. Teachers will try to motivate you with fear. Bosses will try to dominate you with fear. Politicians and preachers will try to sway your beliefs with fear. The news media will try to get you to watch their channel by broadcasting fear.

There is a lot of fear right now in the world, Bailey. People are afraid of others because of the color of their skin or the God they worship. They are afraid of guns, climate change, cancer, terrorists, religions and it is dominating their lives. There are some things we can change and some we can't. Fear is something that is addressed on a personal level and it is up to each of us to determine whether or not our fears are founded. That determination comes through knowledge. When you get older, Bailey, you'll have the knowledge that, if you're face-to-face with a bear in the woods, that fear you feel is real because you know that a bear can seriously harm you because they are aggressive, strong and have big-ass teeth. On the other hand, someone may tell you that you need to be afraid of blue people. You think to yourself, "have I ever met a blue person?" "What do I know about blue people?" "How are they different and why should I be afraid?" This is when you begin to learn. Gather knowledge about blue people. You're very fortunate that you have the entire written knowledge of the human race available to you at the click of a mouse. You may find, after your research, that there are billions of blue people in the world who are peaceful people and that there are some who probably live very close to you, maybe even in your own neighborhood. You also learn that, on the other side of the world, there is a very small group of blue people who are bad and have done some really despicable things. With this knowledge, you can make an informed decision about blue people. Should you fear all blue people based on the actions of a small, remote group of them. No, of course not.

Throughout your life, you will be presented with scenarios like this. You have to use knowledge as a tool to overcome fear and move forward in your life because every time you address a particular fear, you become a better person. Remember, some fears are valid. If you live in earthquake country, your fear of earthquakes will compel you to properly prepare for them. Once you're prepared, you move on and put that fear into the back of your mind. If your teacher makes you afraid of failing her class, you work harder. If a bully constantly harasses you, you learn to defend yourself by speaking up or, as a last resort, physically taking action. Knowledge, training and proper preparation, will allow you to face your fears and live your life to the fullest everyday.

So now, what do you do? Well, Bailey, you're only two years old so, right now, I just want you to continue to explore your world. Learn the language and use it properly. Learn to love everything around you. Learn to be kind to others but stand tall if they're not being kind to you. Learn about respect and it's place in our relationships with others. Learn to forgive those who have slighted you but never forget that slight. Most importantly, Bailey Blue, enjoy your childhood to it's fullest because you're going to blink and be on the precipice of adulthood with all of it's fears and unknowns.

I love you, 

Grandpa Dave

Happy 2nd Birthday From Grandpa Dave

The Day the World Stood Still

It has been said, for those in attendance at your birth two years ago today, that the world stood still. There was a sense of exuberance as the moment drew near. Everyone in the room waited impatiently for you to make your entrance into the world. The room was dim and quiet with doctors and nurses at the ready to welcome you. It was at that moment, that you began the very first fight of your life - for your life. There was a collective gasp as the doctors went to work with the skill and dedication derived from years of training and experience. We waited. We looked at each other with wide eyes and stifled our sobs. We waited. The room was dull, a blur - it felt like I was underwater trying to breathe. We waited. The clock continued to move. We waited.

The sound was like birds on a spring day, like the ocean beneath a beautiful sunset, like warm, tropical breezes through palm trees. It was the sound of your very first breaths, Bailey. The walls of the room moved in and out with the sobbing of those who waited so very long to hear those beautiful sounds. We all knew, at that point in time, that you were destined to be a very special girl, indeed! Your mom worked so very hard to bring you into the world with a strength I've never, ever seen another human possess. Not just physical strength, though she needed plenty of that, but grit and determination borne of a mother's instinct to bring her baby into the world.

It's been two years since that magical day. How do you like your life, so far? One of my earliest memories is of sitting on my mom's lap with my head on her chest and hearing her voice from inside her body. I've always remembered it as a warm, sleepy feeling of calm and that I was protected from anything and everything at that moment. It's amazing how far back a person can remember. Right now, Bailey, you are living those memories that you'll remember when you're my age. I encourage you to make the most of these formative years as it is during this time that the framework for the rest of your life is made. After all, Bailey, you're going to be the one inheriting the Earth from us elders and we want you to be strong, intelligent, compassionate and benevolent.

I wonder what your world will be like 50 years from now, where you'll be and what you'll be doing. So much is possible, so many realities attainable. The good thing is that you have the next 50 years to make the mistakes that will make you a better person, suffer the failures that will make you more confident and recover from the pain of lost loves that will make you a better partner for your own true love. None of it is easy, Bailey, but the rewards of rising to your challenges and overcoming them are the core of what's called the "quality of life" which is something that everyone strives for.

You're at a time of your life where your mind is a sponge. Pathways are being formed and you're learning a lot every single day. Please know that learning is not something that you do only as a child. An intelligent person will strive to learn something, anything daily so continue to explore your world, dig for answers, question everything and expand that little mind of yours. Read, read, read. You are growing up in a miraculous time where the cumulative knowledge of the entire human race is freely available to you in virtually an instant. How fortunate are you? It's a great responsibility, though. You need to be able to discern what is the truth and what is fallacy. People will always try to make you believe what they believe to be true; it's up to you to decide for yourself whether they are right or wrong and that ability to decide only comes from knowledge.

There will be times when you or someone else will make a mistake or say something they didn't mean to say. Maybe it will be your mom or dad or maybe your best friend or maybe even me, though that's doubtful. :-) In any case, believe me when I say that life is too short to not forgive those you care about. There's a saying that you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family. As you grow older, you'll see that friends will weave in and out of your life but your family will always be your family. We will make mistakes and there will be times where you are frustrated and feel like a family member is not being fair to you but always remember that your family loves you and will always be there for you. Always. I encourage you to question their actions but know that, until you are an adult yourself, you have to respect their decisions concerning you and forgive them if they've made a mistake. Also, if you want someone to respect you, then you have to show that you respect them. Listen to what they say, process it and understand it. You may not agree with it but you have to abide by their wishes in order to show them that you respect them.

Enough with Grandpa's wisdom for now! 

Happy Birthday, Bailey!! Enjoy your third full year on this planet of yours. Sniff some flowers, snuggle with your doggy, ride bikes with your Dad, play with your dolls, kiss your Mom, get your feet wet and your hands dirty....just love and enjoy your little life. 

With love, 

Grandpa Dave